Office Saddle $200

Posted on September 13, 2010
Filed Under office gifts | Leave a Comment

We just can’t get enough of the equine species here at the StrangeDeals offices. Both Mr. Ed and the Lone Ranger’s Silver were important influences on our founder and we’ve been instructed to get as many horse-themed deals posted as possible.

Look at this baby. You sit on this thing at your desk and no one will screw with you, lest you pull out your roscoe and start blasting the joint up. This is the official office stool for the man who knows the dead man’s hand (aces and eights, if you’re not in the know or some kind of hoople-head).

Hammacher-Schlemmer now has this bad boy Office Saddle Seat priced at $199.95. Shipping is free through 9/30 with coupon code HAMMFREE. The saddle helps with posture too! According to the site, “its gentle forward slope shifts the pelvis forward and raises the buttocks above the knees, resulting in semi-standing posture that discourages hunching over or slouching.” Whatever you say, pilgrim.

This seat might also inform subordinates that you are most definitely carrying a gun, which will help with their posture.

Horsey Bike Ornament

Posted on September 10, 2010
Filed Under sports gifts | 5 Comments

Bicycles: incredibly popular in eastern Asia and among thick-bespectacled, do-nothing hipsters in urban America and Canada (and, of course, the French, non?).

In Europe and Asia, most cyclists choose economical bikes to get them to and fro. Hipsters, however, use their bicycle as a status symbol because a $1000 car isn’t very chic. A $1000 cotton candy pink road bike that has no brakes and no gears? That tells the world something about you. Probably that your parents divorced when you were young, but whatever.

Soon, everyone can draw plenty of attention to their bike, whether it’s a baby blue Le Prince Bicyclette or your mom’s cream Schwinn. Korean designer Eungi Kim has designed this Horsey Bike Ornament for the Seoul Cycle Design Competition. Neeehhh! Though not yet available for mass consumption, I will sleep easy knowing that a pack of fauxhemians in my own urban area will be flying down the street together, all brandishing these like some sort of limp-wristed James Gang.

Nothing-But-Marshmallow Cereal from $8

Posted on September 9, 2010
Filed Under Funny Food Gifts, Uncategorized, dangerous gifts | Leave a Comment

Were you one of those kids that used to pour yourself a big bowl of Lucky Charms or Count Chocula and then only eat the marshmallows? Me neither. I had to eat Coco Wheats. If you were one of those kids though, you’re probably currently suffering from type 2 diabetes.

However, no one can deny how delicious marshmallows are, especially floating in milk. Yum? If it’s not your cup of tea, you can always feed it to your kid’s bratty friend the morning after a sleepover and then send him home to mom and pop for a sugar-fueled afternoon of nightmarish antics. Take that, Timmy’s parents! (that name really gets the for-sale product involved!) is now selling bags of these, uh, Cereal Marshmallows starting at $7.99 for14 ounces. However, if you’re looking to buy in bulk, you can get up to 95 pounds of these little sugar bombs. And if you are buying 95 pounds of these, send photos.

Custom Painted Nikes

Posted on September 1, 2010
Filed Under Dorky Gifts | 1 Comment

When I was a kid, the coolest shoes I ever owned were Reebok Rads (mine weren’t pink, but upon inspection and now being a confident adult, I wish they had been). Mine were blue and yellow and I kept them in top condition, until the local Nelson, Jimbo, and Kearney beat me up for them. Who’s laughing now local Nelson, Jimbo, and Kearney? Probably still them.

Well readers, my Reebok Rads — awesome as they were before I took a beating — ain’t got nothing on this guy. This guy’s shoes make my Rads look like a hobo’s recent rejection from the Aldi dumpster.

Daniel Reese paints custom Nikes and you and I should probably get a pair. I imagine it won’t take Nike too long to stop him from doing this, in fact it may happen in five minutes. He’s gifted. Not like Vincent Van Gogh gifted, but good enough to paint shoes well. His site is called Brassmonki, and even if you’re not interested, it’s worth a serious look. Tons of cool, if childish, ideas. Dude’s like the lesser Van Gogh of shoe painting. I guess that makes him the Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec of painting shoes.

Either way, Batman Nikes! (Make your younger brother wear the Robins.) Take that Lamar Odom! Who are you again? Do you play for the Clippers?

Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters $8

Posted on August 30, 2010
Filed Under Dorky Gifts, ninja gifts | 1 Comment

The Gingerbread Man was really mischievous. Remember? (I’m talking about the fairy tale, not the punched-up version from Shrek.) I always thought he would come running into my room when I was a child and this scared me.

As the story goes, he escapes some farmers that made him in an oven because they were childless, a classic example of how messed up the fairy tales from that era are. As they give chase, he shouts the taunt, “Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man!” Eventually a fox catches and eats him. You know why the fox caught him? Because he wasn’t a ninja.

We’ve covered ninjas before at StrangeDeals. They’re badass. No one denies this. So, if you’re ninjaless rather than childless, you should probably hook yourself up with these Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters. They’re at Perpetual Kid for only $7.99 starting in September. Careful though, after coming out of the oven, they might just take their awesome bamboo blowguns to your unsuspecting neck instead of running away. And don’t expect any fun taunts: ninjas have never once spoken.

Yodeling Pickle $11

Posted on August 24, 2010
Filed Under Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Yodeling: a strange and often loud aspect of some non-American culture. It’s likely Scandinavian, but our intelligence reports at the StrangeDeals offices are quite raw, so we can’t be sure. We also have a hot report saying it’s Argentinian in nature, though we have no confirmation either way.

Yodeling: we’ve all heard it and somehow it’s pervaded world culture. We all have a sense of it, but couldn’t possibly hope to recreate the highs and lows of its novelty notation. And the yelps, we can’t do those, at least not as responsible people living in our local US cities, townships, and villages.

Yodeling: really? You’ve preserved this portion of your history? Why not the viking funeral? That thing is ultimate! The one where they kick your canoe off the shore and shoot a flaming arrow at your corpse and light the whole boat aflame? Then you go to Valhalla where you get in mead-drinking contests with other vikings! Yeah! Metal! Mastodon!

Yodeling: hopefully no one is doing it. Especially considering they can have it done for them, by a pickle no less! A ridiculous pickle! A Yodeling Pickle! Of course, it’s at Amazon (we all know they’ll sell anything) and it’s only $10.70. So just buy it already: your life will take on new meaning, both spiritually and intellectually, when you own this soon-to-be artifact.

Preserve the yodel!

Folies Bergere Boudoir Stool $75

Posted on August 23, 2010
Filed Under Perverted Gifts | Leave a Comment

It’s a major award!

Shucks, I wouldn’t know that. It looks like a lamp.

What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It’s a major award. I won it!

Damn, hell, you say won it?

Yeah, mind power, Swede, mind power.

One of the best parts of the film A Christmas Story is that it reminds us of how crazy parents are. Yours, mine, strangers’ parents, it doesn’t matter. They’re all of bunch of kooks who win lamps shaped like the legs of French prostitutes and then demand they be displayed in the front window.

Is your mother or father completely nuts? Then get them this Folies Bergere Boudoir Stool from Just like Ralph’s father, they’ll display it proudly in the billiard room or boudoir for company to admire (I can’t even get a washing machine in my apartment and you’re telling me people still have boudoirs?), then go on to prepare some herring to go with the light sherry they’re having to drink during the pre-dinner Lhasa Apso conversation.

Mr. Parker: It’s a Major Award!
Swede: Shucks, I wouldn’t know that. It looks like a lamp.
Mr. Parker: What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It’s a Major Award. I won it!
Swede: Damn, hell, you say won it?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, mind power, Swede; mind power.

Shower-Shortening Water Pebble $10

Posted on August 20, 2010
Filed Under Political Gag Gifts, green gifts | 2 Comments

Dave, it’s almost time for your shower to be over.

HAL is actually a derivative of the acronym IBM. See it in the letters? H-I; A-B; L-M. Almost everyone who loves Space Odyssey knows this. But Space Odyssey, for all its groundbreaking work, isn’t actually that fun to watch.

Not like Scorsese’s Casino, where they have that one scene where they use they Use the F-Word 21 Times in Two Minutes (if you aren’t a fan of profanity, please please don’t watch this; StrangeDeals is a family site).

Nonetheless, you’ve probably been looking for an evil little robot to be telling you how to shower. Should I conserve water? “Yes,” says your new little beast, training you properly with a series of progressive lighting. This pebble  shortens its suggested stop time, conditioning you to use water wisely. It’s the Water Pebble! It’s available for only $10 at Uncommon Goods.

Dave, I really think I’m entitled to an answer to that question.

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