Private Ninja Lesson $195

Pirate, Zombie, or Ninja? I like pirates, dorks like zombies, and everyone else prefers ninjas. That’s an unimpeachable fact.

I myself don’t know all that much about ninjas and their crafty ways, but I learned quite a bit from the American Ninja trailer and this knowledgeable website, Real Ultimate Power. From what the expert at this site tells me, ninjas are all about getting pumped and totally flipping out.

Only available in New York via Cloud 9 Living, you can receive a 90-Minute Ninja Lesson from an instructor with the title of Shidoshi, “teacher of the warrior ways” from the Bujinkan Hombu Dojo in Japan, which was founded in 1980, the absolute peak of ninja activity throughout history. And they’re just $195 each!

We now know something else about these elusive assassins: they’re capitalists.

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