Well readers, my Reebok Rads — awesome as they were before I took a beating — ain’t got nothing on this guy. This guy’s shoes make my Rads look like a hobo’s recent rejection from the Aldi dumpster.

Daniel Reese paints custom Nikes and you and I should probably get a pair. I imagine it won’t take Nike too long to stop him from doing this, in fact it may happen in five minutes. He’s gifted. Not like Vincent Van Gogh gifted, but good enough to paint shoes well. His site is called Brassmonki, and even if you’re not interested, it’s worth a serious look. Tons of cool, if childish, ideas. Dude’s like the lesser Van Gogh of shoe painting. I guess that makes him the Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec of painting shoes.

Either way, Batman Nikes! (Make your younger brother wear the Robins.) Take that Lamar Odom! Who are you again? Do you play for the Clippers?

As the story goes, he escapes some farmers that made him in an oven because they were childless, a classic example of how messed up the fairy tales from that era are. As they give chase, he shouts the taunt, “Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man!” Eventually a fox catches and eats him. You know why the fox caught him? Because he wasn’t a ninja.

We’ve covered ninjas before at StrangeDeals. They’re badass. No one denies this. So, if you’re ninjaless rather than childless, you should probably hook yourself up with these Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters. They’re at Perpetual Kid for only $7.99 starting in September. Careful though, after coming out of the oven, they might just take their awesome bamboo blowguns to your unsuspecting neck instead of running away. And don’t expect any fun taunts: ninjas have never once spoken.

Everywhere there’s lots of piggies
Living piggy lives
You can see them out for dinner
With their piggy wives
Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon

Now I’m not positive, but I think they’re using pigs as an allegory for something else here, because I don’t think pigs can get married yet. And pigs eating bacon is probably how foot-and-mouth disease started. Though, the Beatles are from England and things can get weird pretty fast over there.

So, if you know anyone who can be a bit piggish, lighten up their sty with this cool Pig Snout Mug. It’s only $14.99 at Perpetual Kid. Or buy one for yourself, bring it to the office, and see how many times you can say “oin-kay” instead of “okay” before you get fired. Over-under is probably like three times (I’ll take the under).

Of course, when I go to the eye doctor their always trying to upsell me on bionic laser pupils and night vision eyes like Vin Diesel in those dumb movies that no one ever saw. But that’s neither here nor there.

What is here (almost)? Adaptive Lens Technology! Look out eye doctors, this badass new eyeware is going to put you in the bread line! You can then ask yourself, “is this better or worse?” It will likely be worse than when you were a rich doctor.

I don’t quite understand how these work, but I won’t need to because they’re so easy to use. You just twist the dial until you can see, or if you prefer, unsee everything in front of you. Adlens, developers of Adaptive Lens Technology, uses a hollow lens with plastic stretched across. That plastic is then filled with refractive index fluid (or as I like to call it, special sauce) until all the convexes and vectors and things are in place for perfect vision.

They should really make these for your nose too. Adaptive Smell Technology: you could have either a heightened canine-like sense of smell, or if you live in Mogadishu, you could unsmell everything.

Take, for example, this Marugoto Tamachan Portable Watermelon Cooler. Why does this thing exist? I don’t know, but I have a feeling it’s to make the rest of the world feel like a bunch of Okies and hayseeds who wouldn’t know a portable watermelon cooler from a Hello Kitty Sushi Maker (careful, that site is weird and possibly inappropriate).

Wanna be the coolest guy or gal at the next barbecue? Buy this thing and act all aloof when people wonder what the hell it is. “You’ve never seen a Marugoto Tamachan Portable Wheeled Watermelon Cooler? Do you live in a cave?”

It’s available at Joybond (a site with the oh-so-awesome slogan, “Car Care System For Professional Purpose”) for only 19,950 yen (about $231). Then, and only then, will you be able to cool mobile watermelon for professional purpose.

Simple, you put on this TV Hat. This can be hooked up to any video iPod, iPhone, or other video playing device to bring you the experience of watching video imagery inside of a beekeeper’s suit.

I’d explain it more, but just watch their awesome video. It’s got some of the hackiest, schmaltziest lines ever committed to a marketing script. It’s probably even better when you watch it inside TV Hat.

TV Hat is available for only $29.95. Shipping adds $7.95. Your personal sense of pride? That’s free to give away at any time.

This “stylish tie looks just like what Mario wore to his high-school graduation” say makers ThinkGeek.com, and we have to agree. Or what Link wore to his. Or what Mega Man would’ve worn if Mega Man had to wear a tie instead of wield an awesome arm cannon. Or what Solid Snake wore when he was in disguise pretending to be all corporate before totally sneaking up on commies and choking them (at least when he wasn’t hiding in an 8-bit box).

Available in classic blue or power red, ThinkGeek.com has recently reduced the price of this chic-geek tie to just $14.99, a $5 drop from earlier pricing. It’s a clip-on, because a normal tie would screw up the perfect pixelation. But then again, if you’re buying one, you probably don’t object to wearing a clip-on. Because you’re a dork.

In an unexpected turn (one we selfishly like to think was inspired by StrangeDeals), Amazon has put together a collection of fun and unusual Father’s Day Gifts.

An interesting amalgamation of toys, games, models, and over-the-hill gifts at a variety of price points, the StrangeDeals team thinks you can’t possibly go wrong with the pictured Interactive R2-D2 for only $163.99. Shipping is free with $25 at Amazon and there is no sales tax (except KS, KY, ND, NY, WA).

Look no further. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance is now available at Amazon for a mere $6.47. The now-famous retelling of Jane Austen’s most notable novel, attributed to authors Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith, has reached the lowest price we’ve seen. Plus, it’s available in either paperback or on the Kindle at this price. Shipping is free with $25 and there’s no sales tax (except KS, KY, ND, NY, WA).

A quick personal aside: a friend of the StrangeDeals team dressed as Zombie Elizabeth Bennet this last Halloween and was a smashing success (among the dorks who had any idea to what she was referencing).

Remember when cassettes became the de facto medium for all things audio? Me neither. But I’m told it did happen. They replaced vinyl and the eight-track for just about a decade before the compact disc began to dominate. And boy, was some lousy music recorded onto them. I could live my whole life without ever listening to The Safety Dance again.

While cassettes will never return, their memory can live on with the Cassette Tape Dispenser, or as I like to call it, The Tape Tape. This stylish office supply handles standard rolls of clear tape, is available in either red or green, and priced at only $14.99 at Firebox.com. Shipping adds $7.95.

“This may smell bad, kid, but it’ll keep you warm until I get the shelter up.”

Like the Ice-Planet Hoth wasn’t miserable enough. Poor, whiny Luke Skywalker had to get his head bashed in by some awful snow monster, hung upside down like a slab of beef in a meat locker, then upon escaping, left for dead in the snow. Luckily old Han showed up, sliced open his Tauntaun (the preferred riding beast in such a climate), and shoved Luke inside to stay warm next to its alien internal organs. Remind me again why chicks don’t dig Star Wars movies?

Now you can recreate the dramatic (and disgusting) rescue from The Empire Strikes Back over and over again…with the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag! The high-quality bag features realistic adornments including a saddle, printed internal organs inside the bag, and a plush lightsaber zipper pull.

ThinkGeek.com currently has this kitschy piece priced at $99.99. However, coupon code GEEKPUZZLER drops it to just $89.99. Shipping adds $14.09.

That’s a small price to pay for preventing Jedi Knight Frostbite (the cold shoulder you’ll receive from friends and family for being so impossibly nerdy is a different story).

“She’s a replicant, isn’t she?”

“I’m impressed. How many questions does it usually take to spot them?”

The StrangeDeals team is pretty jaded. We don’t get excited about much. The iPad made us sigh. However, every now and again something comes along that makes us say “wow.” The Blade Runner Umbrella is just that.

Imagine every rainy day transforming into a dystopian Los Angeles in the year 2019. Imagine walking to and fro your humdrum commute as the showers pour down, and suddenly you’re Deckard, a Blade Runner, hunting for illegal replicants.

Well imagine no more! The Blade Runner Umbrella is now at ThinkGeek.com for only $24.99. With the push of a button, the shaft lights up to let everyone know that you know your sci-fi cinema better than they do. It’s available with either a blue or white LED. Shipping is $7.09.

Here’s your chance to break the mold. Any parent can boast that their child’s a genius, but what about a MAD GENIUS?! With the Young Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks, Junior’s first words will be “B is for Bioengineering,” “U is for Underground lair,” “T is for Tentacles,” or my favorite “K is for Potassium.” (If you don’t get that one, your kid probably doesn’t have genius in the cards for him.)

This set of five handmade blocks is now available at ThinkGeek.com for just $26.99 with $5.39 for shipping. Each block has smooth, rounded edges, no harmful dyes or chemicals, and most importantly, hand-carved depictions of what will hopefully be the ‘building blocks’ (again, if you don’t get it…) for your son or daughter’s unethically experimental future.

Show the world that you are a stiff, pencil-pushing, uncreative Windows user with the three most famous keys from the ubiquitous PC keyboard displayed across your couch!

Etsy.com has this CTRL – ALT – DEL Pillow Set on sale for only $55. Shipping adds $10. There’s also an interesting rumor going around: if you whack your kids with these pillows in the correct order, they allegedly restart their homework.

Whether you’re Twittering, reading the gossip rags, rifling through files that aren’t for your eyes, updating your Facebook status with the excruciating minutiae of your life, or looking at something, ahem, more lascivious, you’ll want to pick up the Rear-View Computer Mirror at SpoonSisters.com for just $11.95. This plastic mirror attaches to your computer with velcro and comes in a variety of colors. Shipping adds $6.50.